Viewing From Above.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvgZkm1xWPE
(Viva La Vida - Coldplay)

After years of conversation, I found an equal. Someone searching for answers. I can turn to for questions. I'm not sure how I found this person. A name... What one chooses to be recognized with or as. Experiences in growing, finding. Enlightenment of self. It is always a pleasure. To share. To learn.

Findings On The Seven Seas...

For Sinbad:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgrRRNwj7mU
(We Used To Be Friends - The Dandy Warhols)

Its ok to feel lost, uncertain. All the "what ifs" in life prevent one from living, and cause confusion. All the "obstacles"/things in life are for living. Each one should be marked as a goal. Then once through them, they become achievements. The past was not meant to be dwelt on, only to learn from. To recapture that one moment is futile. It will never be as good, or as perfect, and the hope of trying to get to that same place again is only a fallacy. Remember it how it was and cherish it. Moving on and forward to create new moments and new beginnings is the future. And the future is not worth waisting our short time here wrapped up in the past. Uncertainties, "what ifs", and previous things are like religion, ineffectual. The truths about life are in living it. The point is no matter what happens, where you are, or what life deals you, or where you will be going - you must always find a way to rediscover you. And maybe, just maybe, that is the intended purpose.

Just Watch And See!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeRxvcj0Lss
(Video - Krapooy0)

Memoirs Of My Sweets...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wU3KBI5qyEY
(Sweetness - Jimmy Eat World)

Jimmy Eat World or damn, what was the name of that group? I couldn't decide between the two cds. I stuck with Jimmy. Gosh, I can't believe I forget the name of that group. I had secretly wished for the cds to be reversed at a time... but then came to appreciate Jimmy Eat World alot more than the other.

A past time of friends, family, death, happiness, possibly what one could describe as a love (if one knew what love was). Maybe a different kind of love, a love of appreciation. Oysters and cellos. Even your cat and I had conversations over the phone. I have been way out of touch. I miss our intellectual conversations, late hours, meeting in passing.

For your thoughts, excerpts from the real authentic paper journal over the years:

Friday morning New Jersey - meeting face to face. An overstayed breakfast. Departing, spent the rest of day with family. That night I drove to south Philly. Watched Oceans 11 at the theatre. Thereafter went to a dive for some conversation and a little food. 4 am. Brief apartment visit, sitting on the balcony. Sandals, I always wear sandals... it's freezing! I hate being deathly allergic to cats. I wouldn't be outside in the moment in a courtyarded apartment complex balcony... overlooking the surrounding sunlight. Day breaks. Then I was returned to my suv. Said goodbyes and I headed back to Jersey. Do you remember the shooting star from our lookout on the balcony? Morning rush hour on a Saturday. Bumper to bumper, I called you while traffic persisted to a dead halt. The sunrise over the Philly skyline from the bridge.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9AG0ltjkA0
(For Nancy - Pete Yorn)

Two hours of sleep, up to an interview by 07:45, from there to Orlando. The call.... It was you of course, informing me that you were still stuck in Atlanta! Oooo goody, I have time to dilly dally. Downtown Disney here I come. I checked the movie times, listened to music in Virgin, window shopped the left side of Pleasure Island - all the while talking intermittently on the cell, keeping me company, keeping me posted. Bumped again and again... the flight. Now that the battery is dead the calls are timed. Tampa, maybe? Sure, I drove home.

After arriving home, Melbourne! Packed an overnight bag and caught an hour of sleep. Confirmed 20:00-21:00 in Melbourne. 21:45: "I'm on the plane!" I'm still driving towards Melbourne International. Arrival. Standing there looking as tired as I. I thought the anticipation of wait was more than enough, but you were here now, finally. We headed to the infamous beach, to wade in the East Coast's monster waves. I was so hoping to share my favorite marine life... the shinys. Trying to find a way to show you, I did not pay attention to the giant wave which crashed over my head and soaked me to the bone. No shinys. We laughed and pretty much said screw it.... one set of clothes, drenched, after midnight... time to enjoy. The undertow was a bit aggressive, so no swimming too far. Instead we directed our attention to the sky and pointed out known constellations. Talk of coastal dream houses with open bedrooms to the crash of majestic yet calming waves. Back to the suv, changed into dryer apparel... and your first glimpse of painted art. One thing about living here, an overnight bag always included a beach towel big enough to use as a sarong wrap just for these occasions. The luggage was in Orlando. A hotel was a great idea, but their system was down. And that clerk - what an asshole! I'm good to drive home, the ocean refreshes you know, you on the other hand slept. On arrival home Sir B. B. didn't like the luggage, but a treat changed his attitude. Bull was fascinated with your beard, hehe. Sign posted, "Got home at 05:30 am! Don't wake!". Falling asleep.

I heard the next song on the radio today, and a splash of random memories came to stare me in the mind.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRtYNPRXkYU
(How Soon Is Now - The Smiths)

I will always feel the same way I did then, even when I think of those past times, even when I hear your voice. I shouldn't of let it go so long... I should have made contact sooner. I regret not calling often. We have only spoken once since I left, plus a couple instances of phone tag.

Alaskan snow crabs. The Endorphin Rush Challenge. Pub hopping. Debs and the Zen Garden! The fountain where they practice Tai Chi. Encountering Rocky the flying squirrel. Two deaths - a cousin, a grandmother. In a way we celebrated the life of the death. Cheers. Those who have lost wrote a song and sang it for everyone. Tears. Followed by good laughs. Sunrise.

The beach bar and ocean horizon. Flavored coffees. Sunset. It was cold out on the water, so we retreated to the warmth. The Mothman Prophecies. It seems we spend all day and night talking.

A couple more hours to spare in this beautiful state. The floating dock at the pier. The graveyard. I love the boxers. Waiting for transport. Midnight, finally on the road. You sleep while driving, you weren't kidding. I drove straight though. It was taking it's toll on me 14 hours - no stops, just a few more hours. Check in. Sleep well. REM. The dream woke me, I sat straight up in bed. I do not dare to discuss the afterglow. The viewing. The stars here are vast and bright, and greatly abundant.

The service. The river. The battlefield. The Rabbi. Hahaha, oh how that still makes me laugh. They still talk about you, you know. You were deemed intelligent. On the road again... to your neck of the woods. Before sunset vehicle problems arose. The teepee on the mountain. Your revelation. The relationship. Snow? 10 years, I hadn't seen snow. It was exhilarating! I felt like I was a little kid again. That peg game. Early morning of the next day.

Maybe I will call today.... or next week. What makes us loose touch? Embarrassed. Possibly somewhere deep down I am ashamed I didn't keep the connection of just fiber cables. I wonder if its the feeling of being lost, or of fear of loosing something you once had and wonder if it will be the same. Fear of people you care for changing. Even if telephone conversations from a far.

Nasty cold and sleet. We are really low on gas. Every exit is closed due to construction. No shoulders to pull off onto, construction left its mark in a one way barricaded highway. Creeping slowly to a 15 mph drag. Panic attack is an understatement, what happens if a semi-truck comes barreling through in this bad weather and we are blocking the way with no gas. Whoever the idiots were at the DOT should of been shot! Exit 3, coasted right off the up ramp where there was a shoulder. Thank god. No signs, no sign of a station. But there were lights. Bundled up completely, all but my feet - still wearing sandals. Your jacket, what was it Russian? A gas station in the cruddy weather awaited at the top of nearly a mile hike. It was cold. The lady at the station gave us free cappuccinos before we had to walk back. The gas can has a leak! Filled up, getting warm, and back on the road again. This part of the drive you were awake and there was conversation! I was destination sleep dubbed. You showed me your home sites, through my toothpicked eyes. 06:00. Ah, a heated waterbed to meet drifting and falling.

Homemade stew. The arcade/bowling alley. Apple chimichangas. Tina & John's. Family. Retreated once again to talking until 05:00. We do have a way with times, hehe. I think we are all secretly vampires, mwuaoohaha.

The V-4 Rocket.The delicately designed cigarette holder with the dragonfly. I still have this and use it as a wallet. It is cherished. And of course the gaming stuff. An excellent movie, Brotherhood of the Wolf. Story numbers. #53. I was not let down with the fork story of course. And what trip wouldn't be complete without the use of the Waffle House. A group of friends, religion and philosophy. Tomorrow you were getting a trim. Ok, ok... the sun is rising.

Story #142 and 5 questions answered correctly. Your filmed while trimming - Momentous. The club playing the song above... How soon is Now. Kind of dancing. The waffle house proves a dive as a hang out in a small town. All those who joined us. 04:00.

Dinner at a mighty fine restaurant. The airport shop - oh my! White chocolate, orange peels, cappuccino... heaven. What a treat. Goodbyes turn into chatting about "Csaba" until way late, as expected.

Glasses. Ahah! The name of the other group - The Strokes, the cd you kept. 01:00 - on the road again. The scenic route, eh? Did you see that? The white wolf. Too tired to continue... must sleep.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tuvX_X7Rlw
(Last Nite - The Strokes)

The world's fastest checkout - oversleeping. Driving. Good Tunes, Good Conversation, Good Times. Goodbyes on the rooftop with sunset and fireworks even! Thanks for everything, truly.

A random visitation at The Zen Garden and Debs. A good night. You met my best friend Tink. I played the bongos. I was dating someone then (what a loser, btw). I thought I was on top of the world and had things figured out. But I realized then what I know now... you will always be.

A part of me, my twin, my friend.

You treated me to my first Philly Cheese Steak. OMG, cheez whiz! I had booked my last flight to the north before I even knew I was leaving for overseas. In a diner chatting... I had forgotten how your eyes were so stunning. So very blue, behind the glasses. You were. I was finally on my two feet. I was finally me. I was. You drove me to my destination.

Telephone conversations lingered at night. You offered up Serenity on the wings of a Firefly.

You sang a song to me on the tele before I left... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJ_9xLl97_Q
(Leaving On A Jet Plane)

This word has us stumped, but one day we shall remember, "FLOWER".

These instances seem a lifetime. I don't know why it is so important to write them. I still like the Smiths. I still have Jimmy Eat World. Every time I hear Leaving On a Jet Plane I think of you. And I still see you at times.

The Dan.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRYpd3_roHg
(Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want - The Smiths)

Teaism.

"When you hear the splash of the water drops that fall into the stone bowl

You will feel that all the dust of your mind is washed away."
- Sen-Rikyu

Estonian Waters.

And I am not referring to the seas that lie on the coasts. Ahah- then it must be the rum! Vana Tallinn - the water of Tallinn, yum. Such a new flavor unlike anything before, I couldn't help myself. Also their vodka Viru Valge, was so clean, u could drink it by itself and truly enjoy it. I would definitely recommend both those to anyone for sipping. Plus the vodka was the best I've ever tasted in my life! I imagined myself walking the cold streets back in the occupation, sipping on a fifth of the stuff periodically to keep warm. Yet I was on holiday and it was freaking cold and the stuff warmed your insides! So... As expected, my ships liquor stocks were filled on this port. Couldn't pass up the opportunity.

Speaking of water you must try Estonian water yourself... take a carafe of regular ice cold water. Add some sliced orange (2 slices). Then slice up (long ways) about half a good sized cucumber and add to water. Let sit for a bit, then enjoy. The water should taste more like cucumber than orange, so do it to taste as well. If you drain the water and just put the carafe with the orange and cucumber in the fridge, and only refill it when using it, you get more life out of your veggies. But man o man, that's some good water. I've been drinking it ever since, yummm.

Wow. That is really all I have to say. To think I could actually sail back in time to the Renaissance, sail to the Port of Tallin.


Aside from being pampered and enjoying complete relaxation, I had a terrific time out on foot in the preserved historic city, the capital of Estonia. No lie it was total reversion back in time to the medieval ages. Every building, house, etc. on every block was connected and preserved or restored to its original status. Every street was cobblestones and winding alleys leading around in circles and back to the main town square. The city was actually so big I didn't cover but a little over half on foot during the stay. Even in winter there were markets, street corner merchants, and a street full of outside flower shops - aaaa, the smell. Speaking of smell... the famous Olde Hansa house/ restaurant was near the town square and they sold as an outdoor merchant wagon candied almonds (1 of my favs). But the coolest part was the hotel was in the historic district (and the restaurant was not even a minute walking from the hotel), so every time you stepped out the front doors it smelled of sweet almonds. Castles and fort walls built in stone are around the entire city. Churches on every corner (kinda like pharmacies & fast food in the U.S., hehe). Most persons in the town played the full time part of the history in costume, if u will... there it still remains the dress more often than not. I truly appreciated the art of the era in architecture.

The food... had some bad picks... don't ever eat Estonian Chinese or Indian. Yeah right? Why those places of all to eat? Well, at sea you don't have the option to eat such delights. I enjoy authentic food, so why not? There was a ton of cafes to choose from, one chain I found to be the best was Reval. But the traditional food and the Hansa food was delicious! I tried so many different meals, it was truly an experience in itself. The best food was at the Olde Hansa: between Baltic pepper steak and a fillet mignon and boar mix over sauerkraut with berries and a cherry wine sauce, it was absolutely the best different meal I've had in a long time. For starters I recommend dried elk meat, which came in the form of salted beef jerky, and a fired cheese plate with juniper herbs, which closely resembled Greek halomi cheese when cooked (I love cheese, cheese is good food). Aside from tasting drinks in the fashion, amongst liquored coffees (which came with treats, and if I didn't know better it was a style of fruitcake). Dessert was rose pudding. Funny thing is they didn't serve any soda or "magik drinks" as they called them, hehe. They only had what was available from the appropriate era.

The hotel was a totally classy 5 star, in the historic district as mentioned before. The carpet in the halls were cool because it had old love letters and telegraphs in it. Anyway breakfast came with the room, and aside from a tremendous buffet, you could order special made stuff. So I actually looked forward to getting up early every day for breakfast - haha - believe it or not. Who wouldn't when your getting super good eggs benedict right!?! The eggs were made very different to any other type of poached I had tried before, they were light and fluffy, and they came over a little round crisp. But the hollandaise sauce was the best I have ever tasted in my life. Oh yeah and their pancakes... little silver ones, I don't know what they are called in English anymore, but they were so different and tasty, mmmm the pancakes. Also, the music throughout the hotel in the morning and during the day was all classical and Louis Armstrong (one of my favs). Then in the evenings they played the same with some jazz and trip hop, and for dinner time in the restaurant they had a harpist playing. I didn't get a chance to eat dinner there because of all the other places to try, but I did catch a dessert late one evening. It was ok, but nothing comparable to breakfast. The spa area (did I mention it was a spa hotel - cha ching) had the 2 therapy areas, a pool with roman waterfalls, a jacuzzi, eucalyptus steam bath, and sauna. The pool was a bit small, but it wasn't like i was there training, i was there to relax.

I visited 2 museums while there (which is a hobby of mine in travels). That was pretty cool to read the history of Estonia and how it was back then. I did walk around town alot. On the hunt for buying bottled alcohol (a must when on land to bring back to the ships stock), I ventured outside the old city gates and into the huge booming sky scraper city that has been built around the historic part. You wouldn't know it was there since the historic part is so big and built like a fortress. And you think malls are big in the U. S. - Hah! The one found there was 4 stories tall and gigantic. Got the alcohol - if you are ever in Europe the grocery/liquor stores are always found on the bottom floor or in the basement of these type malls (fyi). I also tried some ice cream, that's a must.. try other places ice cream. Its funny, people eat more of the stuff when its freezing and cold than in the summer, hah. I still like Norsk ice cream better, its creamier :-D .

But to sum it up, this port of call getaway was absolutely enchanting!

(February 2008)

What They Didn't Tell You...

Another letter from the editor... me! of course ;-) . t-hehe

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kX2DzmmGYhg

(Propaganda - Briskeby)

All the big hype about global warming, did anyone really think about what is going on in our universe, instead of going on another money making notion of politicians and big business?

Let me just state, that back when the weather was bad about 10 years ago, everything was "oooo ahhhhh, El Nino". Did anyone even bother to look into El Nino? Any earth science minor/major knows that El Nino comes every year. It's a cycle. Just like El Nina. Does anyone remember it snowing in Florida in 1989? What about snow in Greece mid summer just a few years back? Sure these are things in time and history that are quite interesting. But not something to go overboard with.

So let me explain the current cycle today in our universe. The sun has an 11 year solar cycle. The last cycle being May 1996 to January 2008. Ok, then so the last few years have been the low of solar activity. This year January 2008 - ongoing (average of 11.1 years duration) is the beginning of the new cycle, and when the sun is at its low. Thus creating shorter winters, and delayed weather times... such as late winters, long falls, and massive amounts of storms and wind. Lets see, I think the "El Nino incident" was roughly 10-11 years ago, when the cycle was at its low once again.

Now this year is special because it is a leap year, where we try to maintain the solar calendar. Unfortunately, there are many calendars and ways to interpret leap years, but they all come back to the same principle concept. In the 1800's there was never a leap year involved in the solar cycle beginning. They were always a year apart and pretty consistent. In 1870's they were 2 years apart, returning to 1 year in the early 1900s. Finally 1944 (severe weather reported from December into January 1945/June 1944 severe weather holding military efforts) - the first leap year coinciding with solar cycle low. Then a 2 year gap. Then 1964 was another, wow that was impressive... 2 within a decade! Then 1964 (record snowfalls in TN) & 1976 (gale storms, severe droughts, crazy weather). Hmmmm... any strange occurrences in weather on these years? Then a 2 year gap again, and another coinciding date of 1996 (extreme weather even in Japan) and now 2008. I bet you the planet's next cycle won't fall on a leap year and will have a 2 year gap (at least)... what do you think? ;-) . In my research, just leap years in general seem to have an array of strange and unpredictable weather patterns. Also most endings and beginnings of solar cycles is a 2 to 3 year invasion of odd strange super fluctuating weather changes, then the years in between even out as what you would call normal variances. Normal years within a solar cycle and without leap years were just not as fascinating to report on, just mundane weather. The leap year itself is based on 293 year cycle. Where is the documentation 293 years ago when a leap year was at the solar cycle low? Since the little ice age ended in 1800's, and began roughly 300 to 500 years before, is it possible that we are only on another 293 year cycle, and this being the low? I believe so, therefore, surely there is a true scientific correlation in this study, if one were to undertake it.

Just a fact in 1916, which was just a leap year (no beginning of solar cycle). High temperatures that were record breaking and not less than a couple degrees than the high breakers we have now were reported. That was nearly 100 years ago! No shock then, it was natural to have strange weather phenomenon in all history.

"Global warming" / (greenhouse effect) is nothing more than a cycle. I shouldn't even like to call it that, but thats the term they are using and people understand. It's a cycle of the earth repairing itself, for lack of better description. If we enter into another ice age, at least we can prepare for it. If we enter into scorching hot dry periods, we can prepare for that too. Yes we should utilize our resources for this and any other thinkable catastrophes. But the world is and will ever be changing, and we as humans can't stop it from its natural cycle. It has all been done before, and surely this wont be the last time.

With the media the way they pound mainly false info into our brains, its no wonder people get hysteric and panicked. What the media doesn't offer is the same effects happening 100 years ago, like in 1916. All we have is computer generated hypothesis' based on stars and current weather/wind patterns (unless somewhere someone was fortunate enough to get there hands on written tables). And the media doesn't offer you the real facts behind the science. So just remember 100, 1000 years ago there were big storms, floods, cold periods, hot drought periods. And the news about these instances weren't wide spread, just noted. It was normal for the earth to take care of itself. It is completely normal to have them now as well.

And after writing all this I found a great case study as well:
"We missed what was right in front of our eyes," says Prof. Russell. It's not ice melt but rather wind circulation that drives ocean currents northward from the tropics. Climate models until now have not properly accounted for the wind's effects on ocean circulation, so researchers have compensated by over-emphasizing the role of manmade warming on polar ice melt. But when Profs. Toggweiler and Russell rejigged their model to include the 40-year cycle of winds away from the equator (then back towards it again), the role of ocean currents bringing warm southern waters to the north was obvious in the current Arctic warming. Last month, Oleg Sorokhtin, a fellow of the Russian Academy of Natural Sciences, shrugged off manmade climate change as "a drop in the bucket." Showing that solar activity has entered an inactive phase, Prof. Sorokhtin advised people to "stock up on fur coats."He is not alone. Kenneth Tapping of our own National Research Council, who oversees a giant radio telescope focused on the sun, is convinced we are in for a long period of severely cold weather if sunspot activity does not pick up soon.The last time the sun was this inactive, Earth suffered the Little Ice Age that lasted about five centuries and ended in 1850. Crops failed through killer frosts and drought. Famine, plague and war were widespread. Harbours froze, so did rivers, and trade ceased. It's way too early to claim the same is about to happen again, but then it's way too early for the hysteria of the global warmers, too." - L. Gunter.

And let's not forget magnetic north! The Earth being a giant compass, and just like a hand held version, the original point of location for the axis changes in variance of about 4 degrees. So this ever constant change most certainly effects our climate and temperature differences. Currently, we are sitting at 23.5 degrees. That is a bit far from Magnetic North. The high point that the Earth reaches is 24.4, and that brings us the furthest away from true North, and unfortunately this cycle has us heading to the high point.... Since everything is based on magnetism, it's no wonder the Earth is in turmoil physically, along with a rise and incline of disease for persons living on it. Our magnetism, for a lack of better word, is off! The last time the Earth met its maximum axis direction, was 40,000 years ago. Which in turn was a time of drought and dramatic climate changes leading into the ice age that killed off the Neanderthals.

But in relation to the paragraph above, the sun is at its solar low now. And just reported today by NASA is becoming active again, as it always is, ever changing, never predictable, and always in a cycle. Also, the wind patterns that L. Gunter speaks of flow up and then back down, another ever onward cycle. These cycles aren't "day after tomorrow" occurrences, they fluctuate in time to degrees of slow and fast variants.

So before everyone runs off the edge with "global warming" amongst other outreaching causes, don't just go with the flow. Study, learn, and see. The real facts have always been there and you will be amazed at what you find!


Yes, we pollute and destruction is our nature. But so is building a better future, and striving to become greater than we are. I am a firm believer in saving water, recycling, less power usage, etc, etc, blablabla. It will benefit us in the long run and is without a doubt more Earth friendly. So never stop our efforts to live in harmony with the ONLY planet we have.

Obsession.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9c3zQVcUOrI
(Video - Aurora)

Pretty, pretty lights.

Always there within the nights.


Moving to and fro,
Showing God's creation glow.


Mist, then water.

Crystallized color.

Waving ocean delight.

In the sky above, only at night.
When daylight fades,
Out come the waves.

Sometimes The Silence Is The Key.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bdz7TnVUBso
(Tibetan Singing Bowls - Alan Lem)

Acupuncture is quite a routine actually. I remember years ago, thinking I should try this ancient form of medicine. I have never had music to accompany it, and quite honestly think that in the midst of deep meditation, induced through trigger points, music defeats the purpose.... so just what is the purpose? It works, it heals, it refreshes, it makes you become more aware of you and your surroundings. Was that the intended purpose? To spawn creativity, health, and realization.

I prefer Tibetan Singing Bowls for any meditation with the use of music. The first time I heard the singing bowls, every hair on the back of my neck stood up as a source of unknown energy streamed through familiar channels. The bowls represent an ancient form of resonance, handed down through generations. Music meditation best suits me in a steamy bath. Figures, the giant spinning blue ball that we live on is actually a magnetic sound vibration resonance system. Water being the purest form of resonance.

Wake initiated lucid dreaming is what a friend calls the picturesque parade of visions, dreams, or thoughts (for lack of the true word for it). Falling asleep a little bit at a time, all the while having consciousness and the ability to attain anything you wish for.

I think that the plethora of thoughts passing through the mind's eye is just a form of what the Buddhists refer to as meditation. To calm the waters. Embracing them as they flow and venturing beyond to the next shore. Reaching the balance of shifting winds and violent waves, until serenity is achieved and the waters are still.

So the question is, where do you want to venture to today?

Definitely One To Write About.

Lucidity is quite common. But nothing strikes so profound as the following, therefore I must share:

I was injured or had falling ill. Some group that lived in our dimension or in the past - not sure if i had gone back in time somehow or if they were an unknown civilization. Anyway they found me and even though i wasn't of their confined blood lineage, they said that I was of the ancients and had to be healed. I was special. They were a different depiction of a Japanese culture and had a truly amazing martial art. Nothing I recognize in the now. A mastery between Bujinkan and Tai Chi, yet other techniques never recognized. And the weaponry! Absolutely amazing! With time, lessons, and techniques I learned to heal myself. Once recovery was underway, they began to train me in the arts and customs of their people. It was truly unique to be in this existence. The master was a fascinating man. He had so much knowledge and I just wanted to soak up everything I could - as if I knew my time was short. He was dismayed when I had to leave. But he told me that I must return, as this was part of my journey. He knew my time was short as well and prepared me for leaving. At this point I woke up. I was still fuzzy and sleepy in the here and now, but decided to write a letter of thanks and appreciation as I drifted back into sleep. I remember what was written at the bottom of the letter. I remember everything from the lessons, to training, even the technique to help with physical ailments.

It was so cool. I have never felt so energized or rejuvenated. Whatever happened and wherever I ventured has profoundly impacted me today. As a matter of fact, I write it, because I think it has become an impact on my life.

(July 5)

What Defines A Dreamer?

Is it inventions, or accomplishments? Goals or preconceived ideas? A set way of living? A creative identity? Someone who day dreams or longs to be somewhere else? A rite to passage in a world of chaos and uncertainty? Is it a safety blanket of imaginations? Or is it simply when one closes their eyes to this world, whether in sleep or in the conscious, and journeys into a land of another reality? A dreamer, a great persona of one's inner self - full of ideas and genius, along with that of a sleep state existence.

Dreamer: Pronunciation - \ˈdrē-mər\, Function - noun

Date:

14th century

1: one that dreams
2 a: one who lives in a world of fancy and imagination b: one who has ideas or conceives projects regarded as impractical - visionary

Lady Of The Sea.

I thought I was supposed to relax when at home on land... HA.

With all the things that need to be done on the home front, I feel as if my time off is spent leading another life non-stop. Tis the life of a mermaid, I suppose. I can't complain really, I get the best of both worlds.

But once again, I must return.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RnSI9JaHjvs
(Lady Of The Sea - Seth Lakeman)

Italia!

Rome is different. Smelly people, character... full of character (the city and people - mostly the people, heh).

I went to the Colosseum. At the time, no one was allowed to venture inside due to restorations that always seem underway.

Caesar's Palace. Not much left there. So how can one be certain if that is truly the palace... afterall it is ruins up for speculation as most things in historic prevalent structures. Days spent browsing St. Peter's, The Sistine Chapel, The Spanish Steps and McCyd's...

I went shopping after my touring around town. Found a cozy niche of a hair styler in the alleyway of the main square (you know the one with the obelisk in the center). Comparison of 15 USD to 400+ Francs... big difference. But I didn't have time today. Once again the hair must wait.

I quit smoking. As if a trek around Europe could offer me a new persona. I hope to return anew.

Each night offered a pick between Alexander and Bennito... ah the boys who bothered me. What makes Italians think they have it all and then a whole box of chocolates to go with it... hehe? Vodka martinis on the rocks nearly no cost, it pays to be a female... as in most places. The server dimmed the lights and lit the candle on the table. Free chips, who knows. I guess if I were in the game of making the sheets my way, Italy would have proved worthy. But I don't play that way. Sorry boys. But the pictures were nice to have, keepsakes of Italian men at their best. I promised the boys a copy of the photos...


I hope to return anew, with a new do. Now I am purpled, and not just purple as in the neon paint-on crap the kids of this generation find amusing... but the true essence of lush, deep, dark purple.


I have come to the conclusion that every Italian man winks and smiles in a form of breaking the ice. So much attention...

The pictures of my ventures... St. Peter's, hotel clerks, Sistine Chapel, Colosseum, even the picture taken with the two Polizia (remember the nice one with the watch) along with my camera, expensive translator, knife, and some left over money and travelers checks amongst other odds and ends.... stolen. I was at the Italian hub for thievery, the train station. My train was soon to depart and at this point I was laxed, maybe a little too self indulging the final moments of Rome. The lady behind me said it was a man with dark hair and a black leather jacket and blue jeans. What a coincidence, all the men here look and dress that way! I was so pissed, I felt like I wanted to hit something or fight someone.... my adrenaline pumped, I felt... nearly breaking down to ask for a smoke from someone. But I refrained.

I called my mum, trying to get my ducks in order to replace my money... which the current situation was bleak. My train was leaving in 30 minutes and it was Friday. Where I was headed, unsure and unsure if there was even a bank. I knew I would never see my personal items again. I hope whoever took my things enjoyed the pictures that belonged to my travels and not just the profit. While on the phone, some guy smiled at me and waved. Whether it was a simple gesture to someone who looked forlorned or flirting, it didn't matter. When I left he said "Goodbye" - it cheered me up a bit. After everything was cleared up on my native country's end to meet me with a transfer of funds at my next point of experience, I was fine. Deep down it sucked really, because I lost all the pictures!

"Don't even have pictures, just memories to hold. Grow sweeter each season, as we slowly grow old" - Toad the Wet Sprocket

Words meditated in my mind.
So untamed and deep within my soul.
I will hold them close to my heart,
And breath them all the day and night.
Words so bold with meaning.
Words untold.
Thoughts unseen. Light to be heard.
To little is too much.
Love of one is to the chapel.
Love was so appreciated back then.
Today I find you an appreciator of art.
And then the dove reigned over the world.
Flowing or gliding through the clouds across the ocean and the land.
A walk across time, to dreams.
The unknown. Feelings.

(Written Years Ago)

Iceland Vs. Greenland?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gg4pm4vriZc
(Synth On A Plynth - Ozric Tentacles)

I thought Erik the Viking named Iceland because it was green, and Greenland because it was ice? Yanno, to throw off any followers to keep them away from good territory. I have yet to visit Greenland. In sailing to Iceland, all one sees is dark cold blue waters and huge chunks of white ice floating here and there. If you were in flight it would resemble a Discovery Channel episode on the North Pole. It makes one feel as if they are on the top of the world, yet there is a sense of nothing else existing. I pulled into port in Iceland. This country renowned for wind and crazy weather, a natural hot springs spa called the Blue Lagoon, amongst other things. But it couldn't possibly flourish as green??? Iceland was completely foreign. That of an alien planet. The terrain and composition was nothing I even thought existed on the planet Earth. Only something glimpse in fantasy or what one would think Pluto or some other distant ball would be made up of. So why on Earth is the land here so fruitful? It is a volcano hot spot. The soil is rich with nutrients and minerals to support an abundance of growth and life. But any traveler at first glance would not of even stayed, in my opinion, as it is a barren wasteland alien to this whole planet, and it most certainly is not green! Don't get me wrong it is very beautiful in its own rite of uniqueness. But, in correlation, I have to set course for Greenland in the future to see for my own eyes the lie.

(March 2008)

One Of Those That Get Stuck.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=seQ9N3LeB2c
(Scared Of Heights - Espen Lind)

FROGWOMAN !

No, this is not a pic of me, but I like the concept. Maybe I will indulge you with a real picture later on. But as of 1600 today, I will be shipping out to the docks close at hand. My new dry suit has arrived (oooo aaahhh & pause for effect).

I am going to try out the goods. Just think, they have invented a neoprene hood that zips up the back. That in itself will be such a pleasant experience with my long ass hair.

I can't wait! I am soooooo excited. New toys :D

Dancing Rocks.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iDNMUtw_CQ
(I'd Rather Dance With You - KOK)

Dancing, a past time that will never die out. A major benefit when having legs is dancing. I like to dance, alot actually. Whether in a club, on stage, or the confines of my own home. I took over 7 years of ballet, jazz, and tap dancing when younger. Then I even gave into the tradition of belly dancing. Style? It varies. I think ballroom dancing is hot. Sexy couples caught up in the moment - that could be something if it were me with a special someone. I have a feeling that would lead to hot, passionate, out of control sex. But, I would love to find a swing dance partner one day tho. Swing dancing is fun.

Technology At Its Worst.

One would think; with today's gadgets, gizmos, finds, and enhancements; someone out there would perfect a voice recorder that feeds direct typing to your pc, via usb or what have you.

In my line of work I have alot of time on my hands and in my head. Alot of time without the use of my hands. Then all those little blips of genius that I come up with wouldn't be half lost to the course of a day or week when I am finally able to write them down on paper.

Come on intellects! Just think how much money one of these systems in practical function would revenue???

Euphoria.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dkfcc0up168
(Words & Letters In Color - Little Plastic Pilots)

The story of the century, never to escape the minds of the knowing. You, or should I say we, believe that we shall enter a euphoria at one time or another in our eyes and our lives. Today this proof is to be noticed world wide. When feeling like nothing can go wrong, something horrid usually occurs. Yet something planned, could in turn make everything better. This is at our internal bliss for such happenings. For the past two months I think to myself about the ocean; my home... Not the place where I live, but the place where I belong. For many others the ocean is not their type of pleasure. Maybe it is the mountains or rather that of a sport, like skiing or fishing. Whatever your heart finds as a deep or more intriguing, ritualistic spot where you feel in touch with yourself, surroundings, and nature. By the way, any mortal euphoria relates to nature in some aspect. I believe that nature is more or less in tune with us and those that "know" feel more as one with it.

Funny, if you ponder over such a thought... Every time you hear the Earth in its majestic beauty turn, you turn with it. Not knowing - No, not acknowledging the fact that you are a part of that Euphoric cycle. As stars collide and dissipate with time, you are a part of it. Comets whizzing through the vast open vacuum, turning in whatever form or direction they wish, you are a part of that systematic cycle. Just looking at the moon or some distant planet over time is that of an internal happiness for some, including myself.

Some might have one fond attraction, while others have diversity in plenty. If you yourself say you don't have an appeasing place or are not passionate about anything, look around, nothing is alone, not a chance. Those who believe that they cannot find their bliss as a mortal, will never find or achieve their longings. For Euphoria knows no boundaries, mortal or immortal.

(Written 16 Years Ago)

I Guess It Rains Down In Paris.

Really crappy weather my whole stay in France. Ten times worse than the Highlands... At least there you will find less pollution. I did the tours of Paris, in the rain. The La Louvre, the Tower, Hard Rock, normal street side cafes, bland foods. Walking, raining.

I got lost, in Paris of all places. About an hour later I spotted the hotel. I stayed in the room until dinner, just trying to dry out. After dinner was the Eiffel Tower. I went to the top. I was not sure what to make of this structure. In the gloom and wetness from the ground below, it was a manufactured landscape. The top offered graffiti and a view of dark lit streets and alleys and a carousel not in use with a sky of fog. Graffiti... my name amongst others and a message to the one standing below... See you in Rome. I couldn't resist. The one standing, was one I could not keep my eyes off of.... this guy at the tower. He had blonde hair, parted in the middle, the front longer with the back shorter in cut, the 1930's appeal of barber shop mayhem. Gorgeous eyes and thick eyebrows. The face of soft skin and pondering eyes. He was still at the bottom dressed in black trench and black pants. He was full of wonders every time our eyes met. His eyes... as if I recognized. He seemed a relic from a past all but forgotten in the bustle of tourism and time.

The Palace of Versailles, I lit my cigarette outside the pyramid and glanced around. Rain. I went back in and down the stairway leading into museumed art. Imagine me, a queen, walking in a long flowing gown, gliding over the marble floor towards my king. There he would stand forthwith under the Venus painting delicately colored onto the ceiling above. It would be different... to all those who fantasize about living in an era surrounded by royalty.

The train out of France left me contemplative as my expectations whithered. Not to mention, the local hair dresser wanted 437 francs to die my hair purple - Geez! I don't see Paris for lovers. Maybe romanticists in the form of searching for love, as I was alone.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPT_3PEjnsE
(Africa - Toto)

(Written Years Ago)

When I am out to sea, I write in an authentic paper journal from time to time and then update my journal here and elsewhere with anything I wish to share. The dates correspond with my real journal and are inserted accordingly, so you might wanna glance through the last months again for the new stuff. Now that I have my legs back and are on shore with some free time, I am getting this among other things in order.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwOMekUff8c
(Special - Mew)

I couldn't of said this better:

"So fulfill that voyeuristic urge deep within you and watch as my "life" unfolds. It's nothing all too exciting, but enough to keep you reading, or I could only hope.

My entry titles are funny. Not ha-ha, joking funny. The scheme I follow, or whatever you want to call it is weird in a funny way to me... Sometimes they're just lyrics from songs in my head at the time. Other times they're little blips I make up, sometimes because they sound cool, but far more often with the sinister undertone of something affecting me in some way. Melodramaticness in its most subtle...

Besides, I'm not writing for you anyway." - by Disillusioned on OIO.

Aah.. The Smells Of Summer At Home On Land.

Some things I miss about Atlantis. But some things I have gained. The smells no longer resemble orchids, jasmine, and blooming orange blossoms. New and just as appeasing; I find the comfort of return in that of lilacs and pansies, amongst other native arrays. Who would of guessed even fresh cut grass is inviting? It is good to be back on land again.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhMCkp-lQRg
(Now That Summer Is Here - The Videls)

Toilet Epiphanies...

To see Jesus in a tile.

I personally did not have this experience. The memory from some time ago, where this had actually happened to another, popped into my mind today.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPMUXosYnok
(Scrubs - Roof Toilet)

Swiss Cheez.

I arrived in Lucerne. Or should I say the conductor trying to get the pillows and sheets at 08:00 woke me and started my day off just peachy.

Cappuccino and ice cream. What would I do without ice cream? So many flavors, so many countries. I was pretty tipsy by the end of the night with the tasting of Swiss and Deutsch beers. So early to bed.

Had to catch the train. Up Titlus by one lift, then another - 3 in total. The third was absolutely neat as it rotated. The ice caves! Wow! My girlfriend and I had so much fun running around the ice caves. Then on returning to the outside world, we decided to body surf the snow. We laughed and laughed. I was full of snow. Some places I have no idea how it managed to get in there! The train back down was to leave at 14:25... or was that 14:45? Walking and running... We are late!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnVuiGj3G34

On the way down the rotating lift stereo system played The Eagles. This timeless classic was appropriate as everything seemed to be in slow motion since we were in a rush not to miss the departing train. While waiting, I dumped out the remains of snow from hidden places. Lift to lift... Ground. Running, where was the train station? Shit! Military training kicks in, find the tracks. No problem, set new course running along the railway. 14:57 - Train station. Missed the train back to Lucerne. Now we will have to buy our tickets again, argh! Next train 15:25, plenty of time to find somewhere to get some grub. Back at the train station, we had thought we missed the train our tickets were good for... but that wasn't the case. Fortunately we were there on time and didn't have to dish out extra funds. Darnit! All that running around for nothing, when we could of enjoyed our stay with the snow.

One thing I learned from my worldwide travels, if someone comes up to you and asks in broken English, "Do you walk?" For heaven sakes answer NO! Clueless, young, single female... I looked at these guys with an expression of duh..... Of course I walk... I'm walking down the promenade enjoying my coffee and shopping. I guess the general concept of the question was street prostitution... Hmmm, I wished I had known that before!

A late night rendezvous above the town... Invitation by the ones Alain, Manuel, and Christian. My friend and I crossed the bridge, where a boardwalk of night life awaited on the other side. Every parapet of the bridge was a handcrafted inscription full of detail as a story unraveled in the passing wood (I was fortunate to have traveled when I did. To see this masterful piece of art in its original status. Shortly after my stay, the bridge burned.) The lookout point... what a view of the city below at night. The village of Lucerne a lit in a dusky haze of blaze. We had previously eaten ice cream there earlier in the day, on the rocks serving as a balcony. We said our goodbyes, with the appropriate cheek to cheek kissing frenzy Europeans do. Thanking them for a lovely evening with their invite to see a great sight.

I did of course leave Switzerland with a Swatch, hehe. To come all this way and not have the classic souvenir would be a pity.

(Written Years Ago)

Dieing From Dying.

These thoughts and views are from myself after reading a study on breast cancer.

Breast cancer, the most leading disease in females of the present age. What about the past? And how will it effect our future?

Interesting study I just came across the other day, had me truly deep in thought. There was no breast cancer or ovarian problems in the past. Although our medical knowledge has lengthened over the years, and just like media, coverage is widespread... the earlier woman prior to the 50s, and even in the generations of elderly from the earlier times were not susceptible to the common plague we have now. At least that is what we speculate, although average length of age was much shorter then as well, so who knew exactly what ailments people were dying from? Anyway, in someone else's correlation to the two, what was the leading factor between then and now with woman? Hair care. So on this notion, scientists performed a startling study on hair dyes (amongst other products) and the link to breast and ovarian cancers. You guessed it! The chemicals all of us ladies use in our hair have really gone to our brains.

Do you really know what hair dye does? I know my best friend and I do, because she went to school for the career, and I just happened to bored one day and read her texts. The chemicals in hair dye actually change the molecular structure of your hair. Now don't forget to wipe out those greys.... make sure your hair die is good and in depth covering those roots. Guess where that chemical goes direct into, your brain, which controls everything else nearly on lengths of neurons. The study supported and proved that a few direct links in chemicals found in dyes are directly related to cancer in itself (after years of other studies). It also proved that women who have breast cancer and ovarian problems have or have continuously dyed their hair more than one time per year. Women who use dyes less have a lower rate of being infected with malignant forms of cancer, than those who use these products on a regular basis. Have we found the missing link? Possibly, but like with everything, no one knows for sure... they can only test theories and speculate. But when hard facts are presented, its hard to turn and look the other way. So just what is the industry going to do? Their comments will amaze you... just like cigarettes. They plan on informing no one.

Dye, originally urine induced the long lasting effects of color. And now in labs all across the globe, enzymes and chemical catalysts have been created to take "urine" out of the equation. These chemicals now change our code in our bodies, and thus producing a new mutation to what makes us female to begin with. I know this is so far fetched to even fathom, but we all check labels on our food, so have you ever looked at a shampoo or soap bottle... ever wonder what those big words mean? Anyone who has taken chemical calculations knows, and most of those colorations and smells in your products, come from synthetic dyes, let alone parabens. The fact of the matter is the chemicals in the hair dye may be very potent, but the little stuff we use everyday (or ingest) could be doing us off too.

Future scientists - over the last 2 centuries men have begun to use hair dye in increase. This should be a good study in the next 30 or so years, to see if they have an increase rate in cancer.

I for one plan on never getting cancer. But I am female and this alone probably won't stop me from dying my hair every year to 2 years (when the mood suits). I mean come on, the Egyptians have been doing it for decades the natural way (t-he, mmmm, urine). But it was such an interesting case with proven material on argument, I thought that all my female peeps needed the fyi!